we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
