It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
