i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
