Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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