By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
