Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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