He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
