Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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