Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
