are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Randomize
