just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
