Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
