I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
