i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
