You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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