I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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