listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
