He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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