dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
