ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
