omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
