I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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