I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
