don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
