She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
