the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
