He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am midnight drunk by noon
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
