OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm like, not good at living.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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