dude i'm inner monologue high
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need water and some morals
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
