So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
