are you still at the devil's house?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
