I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
