im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
