so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
