Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
