What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
