help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Vodka?
Forever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
