So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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