Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
