im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
