I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
