i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
