So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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