Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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