is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
