Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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