i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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