never play flip cup with pint glasses
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
