I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
