I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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